W 262 abcd


Sable round brushes, colours and paper:
n.2 Italian Venetian Red
n.6 Indanthrene Blue
n.10 Permanent Magenta
Watercolour paper NOT 280gsm 38 x 28cm

additional exercise using all materials above:
entirely painted with guidance, some lines appearing faintly on the paper

20200205

initially
n.10 again
perhaps this is God’s way of reminding that though this may appear interesting or whatever
it is just a painting
or words
not God Himself
not everything
needs to be taken with a pinch of salt

planning
n.2 God is everything, in Italian Venetian Red aka humans perhaps other than personal interpretation
this seems to suggest that only humans are Godlike – which I don’t believe
on a personal level I have been reminded several times recently to care for myself
finding that balance of caring for others and for oneself
when God insisted I have lunch rather than finish the painting first -not feeding the fish-
and God seems to be saying I need to take my time and not allow myself to be rushed by perceived influences
I think I may have broken a rib because of rushing back instead of taking proper breaks
perhaps
(edit 6 February) this may be right sometimes but was not the cause here. The rib was perhaps broken by pushing a post back with a log in the garden on 18 January, but it seemed ok until I leaned over in the chair this Monday when it perhaps cracked properly showing to me that God wanted me to get help in the garden all along

loving who and how all are may sometimes feel discomforting
destroyed forts, like broken ribs perhaps
horizontal broken lines perhaps

n.6 being tolerant because God cares for everything, for every part of Himself perhaps
in Indanthrene Blue, working at something or understanding
perhaps physically beneath the red, standing under
upright lines in blue perhaps

n.10 value everything but not too much in Permanent Magenta, the forever Father perhaps
this may be again about the sometimes difficult balance between valuing the temporeal and the eternal ‘father’
both are important
God’s worlds wherein joy can live, spheres, no
God’s comforts, forts perhaps, where hearts can feel at home
this seems to be about God helping to make the world a place where all parts of Himself can flourish
perhaps

overall
Magenta forts
Blue upright lines
Red broken lines above
perhaps

P.S. the sudden icy weather seemed to indicate to me I was not explaining things properly
hence a little further explanation:
the additional exercise suddenly showed God being angry at me, I think
saying I am a W….. and going blind and losing my family (indicated by the vanishing n.8), it seems to me
so I am wrong about something
the breaking of the rib happened stupidly but all the previous times it happened in the garden and recently I think I weakened it there
when I was trying to do too much
perhaps as a consequence of trying to do too much in other ways
trying to be a b, rib, breaking
on Monday, the day it broke, I got very angry and scared about what my trying to be ‘friendly’ was getting me into
perhaps that is why it broke, because I got angry
I don’t know

(edit 6 February) stated above
the rib was perhaps broken on 18 January but did not show until this Monday, it shows to me God wanted the help stated below. I get the impression He wants what my family perhaps want for me

perhaps it means that God wants me to take on some help in the garden
that does not involve too much social interaction
perhaps
that is what I will try to arrange
perhaps
the result will show whether this is right now
perhaps

edit 7 February –
actually I think the anger, feeling bad about what people do is more important than the circumstances
both
on the Saturday when I initially hurt the rib – I was upset that the piece of wood I hap placed there had been broken, and had to force a new piece in its place
and when it broke on Monday – I had been feeling very bad about some people at Church and how they were behaving
both those occasions I pandered to notions of ‘other people doing things wrong’
I think that is the thorn in God’s side
when I do that
and it always ends up hurting me
perhaps

no, on second thought it is still the not getting the help which causes the anger and therefore the damage
I think
and while that is ongoing it causes a confusion
my apologies